Dealing with manipulative people is exhausting
Some people are really good at twisting words to mess with your head. They say things that sound reasonable but actually make you question yourself. I got tired of falling for it, so I wrote down what they really mean when they say certain stuff.
Here’s my cheat sheet:
• “Look at all I’ve sacrificed for this relationship” = I want credit for basic relationship stuff
• “You take everything too personally” = Your feelings are inconvenient for me
• “Can’t you take a joke?” = I’m hiding behind humor after being mean
• “Things were better before you got all complicated” = I miss when you didn’t challenge me
• “You’re becoming someone I don’t recognize” = You used to be easier to control
• “I’m looking out for your best interests” = Let me make your choices for you
• “No one cares about you like I do” = Stay with me because you have no other options
• “Remember everything I’ve given up for you” = Normal effort should earn me endless gratitude
• “Ask anyone and they’ll agree with me” = I’m making up supporters to isolate you
• “This comes from a place of caring” = Control disguised as concern
• “That conversation never happened” = Let me rewrite history
• “You’re making a mountain out of nothing” = Your valid concerns are inconvenient
• “You only think about yourself” = Put my needs first always
• “You’ll be sorry later” = Emotional threat to make you comply
• “This discussion is over” = I’m losing so I quit
• “You misunderstood what I meant” = Your fault for hearing what I said
• “I’m the only one who tolerates your issues” = Feel grateful I stick around
• “Trust me, I know better” = Your judgment doesn’t matter
• “Stop living in the past” = Don’t hold me accountable
• “You’re being way too emotional” = Your feelings are wrong
Once you see the pattern, it gets easier not to take the bait. Anyone else have phrases to add to this list?